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by **Kellie T.** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 am31 11:54 am

(KYLE)

One sunday morning the pastor was on a roll against the evils of alcohol. He exclaimed during his sermon, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it in our river, right down here from our church." Later he stated, " If I had all the whiskey in the world, I pour it in the river." "If I had all the bourbon and ale in the world I'd take it and pour it in that river of ours." As the pastor took his seat the song leader rose and asked the church to join him in singing hymn #112 "SHALL WE GATHER AT THE RIVER!"

LOL

by **Linda B.** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 am31 10:53 am

(Silver Hair Fans)

Fr Mark+
Another good one....

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Blessings, JoAnne

We're in the middle of fundraising to replace carpeting in our church, so maybe we should try this one. LOL

I just forwarded it to our senior pastor for the carpeting fund and again to the worship leader for stage lighting for special events.

by **KYLE** » Fri Jan 19, 2007 am31 8:58 am

One sunday morning the pastor was on a roll against the evils of alcohol. He exclaimed during his sermon, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it in our river, right down here from our church." Later he stated, " If I had all the whiskey in the world, I pour it in the river." "If I had all the bourbon and ale in the world I'd take it and pour it in that river of ours." As the pastor took his seat the song leader rose and asked the church to join him in singing hymn #112 "SHALL WE GATHER AT THE RIVER!"

by **Love Light Laughter** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 10:45 pm

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

Love and Light,

Lauri

by **Silver Hair Fans** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 10:33 pm

Fr Mark+
Another good one....

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Blessings, JoAnne

by **Fr. Mark** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 9:15 pm

There are adults like that!!

Mark+

by **Silver Hair Fans** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 8:35 pm

Fr Mark,
Thought this was cute:

A child came home from Sunday School and told his mother that he had learned a new song about a cross-eyed bear named Gladly. It took his mother a while before she realized that the hymn was really "Gladly The Cross I'd Bear."

Blessings, JoAnne

by **Fr. Mark** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 7:23 pm

How about this one!!

A man fell off a cliff and was hanging precariously from a tree branch. He cried out "God, please help me!" God answered, "Have faith and I will protect you. Let go of the branch." The man, stunned, cried out, "Is there anyone else up there?"

Mark+

by **KYLE** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 5:07 pm

It goes something like this:

The churches "Young Mothers Club" will meet Tuesday at 6:00pm in the social hall. All ladies of the church under the age of 25 that wish to become a Young Mother meet the pastor in his office at 5:00 pm.

by **Fr. Mark** » Thu Jan 18, 2007 pm31 4:26 pm

I have used many of these in the past. They are all pretty funny, especially "in the hole he goes!!"

If you have anymore keep them coming as my deadline is drawing near.

Mark+

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