Willie, my prayers are with you, your mom and your family. My father had Alzheimer's also. Our family had many trying times, and also it was difficult due to the fact that several years before Dad was diagnosed we had cared for his brother who also had the disease. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease. I understand your feelings. I often ask God why, and I too have been disappointed and at times devastated by church people. I have come to realize that the people in the church are just that--people, like me, just trying to learn and mature in the walk of faith that comes from knowing Jesus. Also I realized that unlike Jesus, we are not perfect. I don't know why God "lets" certain things happen, but I do know that everything is temporary , I just don't know the time line! That is the hard part---
It was heartbreaking to see my dad in his fits and outrage. He would attack so hatefully and it was very hard to understand. But there were also times of such wonderful gifts of joy that I still cling to after a decade of his death. Our church had a big celebration one year and my mom was in charge and it was a small congregation so all of us kids had designated obligations to the celebration also-- we had to take dad with us since there would be no one home to watch him. We took turns through out the the day watching him and making sure he wouldn't bother anyone. While it was my turn he was busy going around talking to everyone and showing off pictures of his kids. I was trying to keep him from bothering or boring one woman he had cornered-- He was showing her a picture of my one brother which was displayed because he was a "Timothy" from our church who had gone into the ministry. When I came upon them my dad turned , looked at me, and told her and this is one of my daughters, I have six girls and three boys and they are all very good to me and momma and we are very proud of them. They are all very good people. Well Willie, I was taken aback because I was there for moment of his clarity and received the gift of my dad saying he was proud of me.
Another gift given was that a few years later he had a major stroke, and a friend who was a minister would drive 45 mins to pick me up then drive another 30mns to the hospital so I could visit him. She introduced me to Gaither music and from that I discovered David Phelps.
God is with you even when you do not feel as if He is. I have been through this and still do have times when I feel without hope. But He has a way of sending some one to shine His light on your dark days.
I recently discovered a song by Selah that has ministered to me the past week, it is called Unredeemed--listen when you can---http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhOSspNj84w
I want to thank you for posting this Willie because the replies you received from the phans has also encouraged and uplifted me. In your sharing of your faith questions you have served me-- another way God works through His people--the fellowship and communion on this board is so amazing and truly a way that the Bread of Life is broken and shared in remembrance of Jesus and His love.