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OXYMORONS - FUNNY

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OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Roberta » Tue May 22, 2012 1:48 pm

O x y m o r o n s

THIS SHOULD PUT A LAUGH OR SMILE IN YOUR DAY....


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7.. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder un the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated Is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

dunno, why do we?
GOD BLESSES ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS

ROBERTA
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby bdiane » Tue May 22, 2012 5:59 pm

Thanks Roberta... I needed a laugh and your jokes/stories are always so funny!
Diane
Illinois phan


Only one King became a baby!
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Love Light Laughter » Wed May 23, 2012 1:28 am

Ohhhhh, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE these, Roberta!!!!! Hahahaha!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: There's a lot of 'em that I've never heard before. ;) ;) ;)

To answer #15 is:

Because the person who "thunk it up" must've a Phelps Phan. (Just thought I'd clear that up. :lol: )


Love and Light,

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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Linda B. » Wed May 23, 2012 7:29 am

Love Light Laughter wrote:Ohhhhh, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE these, Roberta!!!!! Hahahaha!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: There's a lot of 'em that I've never heard before. ;) ;) ;)

To answer #15 is:

Because the person who "thunk it up" must've a Phelps Phan. (Just thought I'd clear that up. :lol: )


Love and Light,

Lauri


Oh Lauri!! I was going to say that!! I was even going to try to force myself to spell fan wrong - just for you!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

And I so agree with the one about pushing the buttons harder on the remote when the batteries are dead! So true!!
Linda :)
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Destgirl » Wed May 23, 2012 1:40 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this, made me smile and laugh :lol: :lol:
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Love Light Laughter » Wed May 23, 2012 9:58 pm

Linda B. wrote: I was even going to try to force myself to spell fan wrong - just for you!! :lol: :lol: :lol:



Ohhhhh, Linda!!! I am sooooo touched--I truly am!!! You're gonna make me cry. [*sniff*] ;) :lol: ;)


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Lauri
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby Tessitura » Fri May 25, 2012 5:20 am

Too funny and Lauri you cracked me up with your answer to number 15.
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Re: OXYMORONS - FUNNY

Postby leeg22 » Sat May 26, 2012 8:47 pm

Linda...I was this close, too...
and why is an insane asylum called a Funny Farm? there is nothing insane around THIS PHUNNY PHARM!!!


( well maybe just a little bit...but phunny, not nuts!)
( well maybe a little nuts) but certainly not insane...)
It's our Pharm and we love it here.....hahahaha heheheheheheheheheheheehohohohohoho....


Nevermind!!!

Lee :? :roll: :lol:
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